Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Episode of the Reader Man

"Ala - ma - shamba, ti - reng - geh, ti - reng - guh... Shalom Alacheim I am the child of Jehoviah"
Thus begins a night of hoaxes and shams as few inebriated individuals including myself indulge an alleged "Reader Man" as he divines our futures.

Outside the Mobay Proper sports bar... If I remember correctly the host of characters present were David Brown (a.k.a. The Head Turner, DJ, or "Dakta Brown Son"), Mario Woon, DJ's girlfriend Nikki (forgive me if I mispell), David's friend Kenny and Myself. Here we are lounging the night away on Redbull, Absolut Vodka, Cranberry Juice, Appleton and Pepsi. As the liquor asserts itself and the conversation becomes trite babble on the relationships, man, woman and pointless meandering. A slim figure makes his way up Fort Street (former sanctuary to ladies of the night in the Montego Bay of yesteryear). With beatup clothes and an old West Indies cap (by the way for all the cricket aficionado my "Anty Judith" says West Indies Cricket team is an oxymorom) and bottle of Stones Ginger Wines twirling aimlessly in his left hand he hails the small gathering... "Yes I, bless bless, Kings and kings, Rasta..."

"Aye unnu see mi simple yah, mi a reader man..." to which David responds "A wah dis to BC, hahaha." He continues... "I come yah fi tell di ones dem what is what" He proceeds into several chants Ala - ma - shamba, ti - reng - geh, ti - reng - guh... Shalom Alacheim etc etc... I will not lie at first I thought this man was a lunatic, but then I came to the realization that the man has his routine and act down good, lots of psychology here... he starts with David putting him on the usual ego-trip... "you a powerful yute, but people a try fight you down, dem fear yuh still..." Now this is how I realize the man is a sham "DJ" a powerful yute, huh!!! wah!?! come again, YAH RITE :) ...

He gives David some seeds so he can hold on to his money (which were not seeds, on scrutiny I realized they were the pellets you find on bottle brush trees) and tells him to read Psalms 91 ( which states "Psalms 91 v1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." If you're interested). Anyway runs the gimmick on the whole crew, bu twhy this man freaks me out is the fact that he asserts that I have a baby mother. Now real reader man or sham... this is one scary prospect... mi cyaaaaaaaaan go manage dat deh one deh!
So in summary that is the tale of the reader man and how psychics and soothsayers become contraceptives...

Aaaaaaah BC boy all in the life of The Adventuring Mr. Pessoa...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

why i doesnt be there when dem kinda tingsa goin on bwoy..stups...u get to have all the fun..cho

Anonymous said...

Well, that's a first. A reader man as a contraceptive, hmmm. But then again, mebbe u do have a baby madda somewhere when u were 'spreading'ur seed. Scary indeed.