My Mobay Christmas Wishlist
Dear Santa,
Rumours abound, some claim you don’t visit the ghettos, others contend that you do but, you only deliver, Mach 10’s, “Zigzags”, 9mms, Introtechs and maybe some “scribbs and clappers” for the kids. Worse yet I hear it is that you don’t put Rasta men on the roster for anything in the big bag. Some people have gone so far as to claim that you aren’t even real. How preposterous! There is even a rumour that you have elves working at the Parish Council, though I am told that they only wear there green suits when it is election time. I won’t swear I have been good this year, but I have tried Mr. Clause Sir, I really have. As you should be used to by now St. Nick, I’m writing because like the 6 billion other people on the planet I have a few small requests for Christmas. There are a few presents that you could give us here in MoBay, I hope it is not too much, and if so maybe you could delegate some of the work to those elves.
- Could you fix the roads out by Flankers in its entirety? And when it does get fixed in its entirety could you see that there is proper drainage there, so that you won’t need to fix the road by March. It would be a big help to Montegonians and even easy some of the traffic. No doubt, you would make many of the tourism interests happy as well, not to mention Horace Peterkin who probably has hell to reach to the branch of Sandals out there.
- I won’t ask you to stop all the crime in the second city, but maybe you could drop off a feasible and reasonable crime plan at the St. James Parish Council. Maybe then they may take up the issue of crime in this town with some zeal, if they know that a popular Caucasian has some interest.
- Can you get rid of all the bleaching creams that people seem to be using to damage their skin these days? As a matter of fact maybe you could through in a dash of self esteem and black pride while you’re at it.
- In spite of the vicious rumours that people have spread about you, I ask the you not be spiteful or bare any ill will towards the third world and actually drop off some useful presents to the street kids that beg at the stop lights and every fast food place. I don’t want to press my luck but if it isn’t too much, maybe you could find there parents and enlist them in a good school or just prompt the state agency that deals with such ill-fated children to be more proactive in carrying out their duties.
- I hate to go back to a topic but I don’t think I was thorough enough on the roads in request 1. But I must ask you to find some good drainage solutions for MoBay. The phenomenon that is flooding is getting far too common in the city. I would never like to see a repeat of what happened in October ever again. Also could see if you sort out whatever the hell is going wrong out by Bogue during rush hours, the insane lines of traffic cannot continue much longer.
- I would also like to think that the majority of Montego Bay would appreciate you providing the local government with an employment plan. I hope that this isn’t too much to ask of a man who flies the global in just one night. We need an employment plan that will not only make people aware of job opportunities but will help create some.
- My last plea is probably a trivial one but it is my final wish none the less. I don’t know how you will accomplish this but, is it possible that you could find away to broaden and expand the entertainment arena in MoBay. I tire of hearing people complain that Montego Bay is boring and that they have nothing to do or nowhere to go.
Mr. Clause I know this is somewhat of a tall order, but they say miracles happen at Christmas time. So I beg that you try and give Montego Bay these small favours as our Miracle for the Christmas. Your time and consideration is greatly appreciated sir. My many, many thanks in advance.
Yours Truly,
Yannick Nesta Pessoa
On behalf of the citizens of Montego Bay.
p.s. could you get those little green elves down at the Parish Council cracking for the New Year? Thanks.
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