A Letter to Dorothy Maud Thompson

Remembering Dorothy

"He who learns must suffer, and even in our deep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop on the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God"~Aeschylus

Dearest Grand Ma,

I am sorry I couldn't have read my piece about you at your funeral, I had so much to say and I felt it would take forever, and every time I thought on speaking at the moment to speak, I became overwhelmed with emotion, and still do until this moment when I think of you. You were a monument in my life and the tree under which I could always shelter. It's been a year now and it still hard to know you are not here, and sometimes I think I tell myself you still are here and it is how I handle the reality. I am so glad you met Kyrha, and will never forget the day you took her picture from me and I couldn't get it from you and gazed at it all day and told me how beautiful she was, and I am glad she loved you. She speaks of you often and recalls how you were protective of her and saying in you grannified voice "don't run outside," "where you going with you naked bottom," or simply "come touch mi nuh, hold mi hand." She refers to you now as the ancestor she knew.

KeeKee and her Great Grand Ma

These days when she sleeps with Juilette, I remember all the nights I slept beside you,and would listen to you conversations with Aunt Elise on the old telephone with the round dial. How my mind would wonder in the dark beside you, to what England looked like and what Tate Street was like in the days gone by that you were speaking of, listening to you discuss politics, and say "YES... AT YOU" How I wondered about the Jamaica you described, was it like the pictures on your wall? How I imagined the Kendal Crash as you recounted it, and Hurricane Charley... how I imagined Diamond as an orchard filled with "Milli" mango. So too I wonder if Kyrha is imbibing yesteryear with Juilette and taking imaginative psychic journeys.

I still have my first memory of you solid in my mind, with you arms on your hip, standing in the doorway before the hallway to the kitchen, under a wooden clock with a metal face with flourishes painted on it, and you were talking to Juilette and Roy at the door the Veranda, and you asked them if they had come for me, and I said "bye Dada" for Dada was the name I called you, and I turned around and looked at Roy and realized he was Daddy, and I had given you his name, and having a guilty feeling as though I had cheated him of a title, for in my tiny mind at the time it was a title akin to God as that is what you represented to me a matriarchal start, a genesis of sorts, and I had established in my tiny mind that you had come from a more primordial place than Juilette and Roy and you would be my cognitive ambassador into yesteryear, you would forever be my marker in history, as though 1919 was the year my life began as well, and every event in history that happened after 1919 would be an event that I would wonder where you were or what you were doing or where was Tommy at that time or Carol or Juilette, where did you live at that time, what schools they would have been attending at the time etc... I doubt Kyrha's connection with you was powerful enough to start her at 1919, but there is hope, like I said before... she remembers you well and even carried yuh name go abroad, speaking of you as though you were still alive, and when asked about she responds you are in heaven and you are her ancestor now! So it seems you are on your way to joining some pantheon of God's or gods, even if it's just our personal familial pantheon. And even she doesn't start 1919, I hope she at least can start at 1952 now that she sleeps with Juilette.

I don't know why but I feel charged with keeping an eye on your children and nieces and nephews. I wont say I am doing the best job, as many days and nights I wonder if we will or have already become scattered and dispersed like seeds in the wind. Not as connected to a central hub as when you were here. I am glad your friend Nurse Donaldson, comes by and I think she fills the gap you left for Juilette.

Here is another thing... since your departure, my eye and mind has turned to things like the senior citizen's association and their activities. I followed Nurse Don, on one of her excursions, was a decent experience, but so so heart rending to see even at ages of 70 and upward human being frail and on the edge of existence and to me a bit between worlds closer to a spiritual place, than they are here in the material, and yet they push on with some sort of effort some sort of activism, making a difference to community and society, impacting babies, another set of entities fresh from the spiritual plane and frail to this material plane...

I am trying to keep up with your SOCIALISM and SOCIAL Activism... but to be honest it is much disheartening and disenchanting to see what your beloved PNP has become, a far cry from the Manley's, a far cry from the veranda philosophers and ideologues that shuffled about the Republic of MoBay in your heyday... ushering in Howard Cooke as a political staple in Western Jamaica, far cry from Marxism and street side debates on proletariats and bourgeoisie... far cry from the free education "UWI 'I am black and I am proud' middle class intellectuals", a far cry from Rock River Clarendon type grassroots, a far cry from collective action, a far cry from people's cooperative, far cry from the left even the face of modern leftist successes. Its a popularity contest of personalities and populists pandering to the public with only personal gain in mind, power and position. I am sometime tempted to believe we will never see any political revivalism of that conscious 70's Black Power, street intellectual order. But I press on in hope...

Shortly after before your funeral Syreeta (Ms Ritz) and I were discussing you and your impact and your legacy, something she wasn't so familiar with. The concept is this... you are the first mega star weh mi know... but I think she may having been wondering how so, so this is the perspective I let her be privy to...

[8/25/2014, 6:35 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: Isah... jah know the security n warmth she was,
[8/25/2014, 6:36 PM] Syreeta: Ok
[8/25/2014, 6:36 PM] Syreeta: Sigh she was
[8/25/2014, 6:36 PM] Syreeta: We had our moments; we used to reason n ting
[8/25/2014, 6:37 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: Mi know she n everybody do dem one a way... a di general enuh
[8/25/2014, 6:38 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: Some ppl know bob marley or manley or obama... I n I know dorothy thompson
[8/25/2014, 6:38 PM] Syreeta: Ye fa real star
[8/25/2014, 6:39 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: A she mi see from mad ppl to pj to howard cooke to manley etc come a 15 hoyt drive..
[8/25/2014, 6:42 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: She a mi real icon... n mi a tell u in real real life like mi feel honored n proud to be her offspring n descendant...
[8/25/2014, 6:43 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: She build bare mega n mini star as her bloodline
[8/25/2014, 6:43 PM] Syreeta: Ja know cuz is real talk dat
[8/25/2014, 6:45 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: She to mi build tommy monty n roy as 3 mini megastar... n camara grow under her hand and do ar ting... n mi jus never meet more real or potent characters or smarter ppl dan mi family members an who surround me that she build or bless up
[8/25/2014, 6:46 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: All dj is a story n a colorful character
[8/25/2014, 6:46 PM] Syreeta: Dat is so true
[8/25/2014, 6:48 PM] Syreeta: N so many people luv n rate har like its amazing to me
[8/25/2014, 6:48 PM] Syreeta: Daddy tell mi how much yute she help n raise dat wasn't fi har own
[8/25/2014, 6:48 PM] Syreeta: Dem type a people nu mek again
[8/25/2014, 6:50 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: Parri as a yute every weh mi go inna paradise n norwood mi unda watch n protection all who mi nuh know seh miss thompson granny or mi nuh waan unnu touch im dis one yah a fi ms thompson
[8/25/2014, 6:51 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: As yute I used to wonder how so many ppl know her...
[8/25/2014, 6:51 PM] Syreeta: Yea
[8/25/2014, 6:52 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: Even in paradise the amount of ppl weh sit mi down an seh yute ms thompson do dis fi dem she a di backbone of the community etc
[8/25/2014, 6:57 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: U have a don up yah weh police kill name goosey... a rasta inna him late 40s an a eediat waan war over him ooman... n from di man a pass n smaddy tell him she tusto waan war of ms t gran son over dis lilly bar gal..  di man nuh know mi in person enuh... di man fly inna di bar n rush.di man n tell mi seh no man cyaah do mi nutten n mi nuh no man no talk u granny do more dan enough... an seh come on out.. rolling in fat suv
[8/25/2014, 7:00 PM] Syreeta: Wow
[8/25/2014, 7:01 PM] Syreeta: Dats so crazy
[8/25/2014, 7:03 PM] The Emperor's Attorney: Anytime mi waan name drop or draw rank certain way pon ppl... dorothy a di most powerful ting mi can pull pon... when mi n ppl all deh reason n dem nuh know mi n seh yow dah rasta meds high... some paradise smaddy always jump n seh man a tru ms thompson gran man di whole a dem brain big u nuh see thompson forehead
[8/25/2014, 7:05 PM] Syreeta: I'm not surprised that so amazing to me tho...